Agitation
by zivvie
Summary: Kate walks in on Castle, witnessing something stomach twisting
1. Chapter 1

"Castle?" Kate groaned. "Castle! Rick! Caaaaastle?", she was getting impatient. With a huff she closed the front door and walked towards their bedroom. What she saw made her stomach twist and turn. Tears welled up in her eyes. He was kneeling on the bed, kissing another woman. A hand flew over her mouth and her legs carried her all the way out of the loft. He was naked, kissing another woman. On their bed. They were married for god's sake. Like on autopilot she was in her car, heading to her best friend's. Kate wasn't even up for behaving like a normal person and pressed the door bell until Lanie answered the door.

"Kate", Lanie said with a beam but her happiness died down the second she looked at her best friend.

"What's wrong honey?", she said and Kate flew into her arms, shaking with sobs.

"He, he, he cheated", Kate managed to get out, followed by a heavy sob.

"When?"

"A couple of minutes ago" "I came home from work and called for him. When he didn't answer, I walked into our bedroom and- "Kate's voice died.

"I'm so sorry", Lanie whispered and rubbed Kate's back harder.

Kate rubbed her eyes and sat up. "Castle?", she called out but Lanie appeared. A strange noise escaped her throat as she remembered what happened and sighed.

"The boys went over to your place" Kate looked up.

"He's been acting like a total dick head according to them"

"Hasn't he always?",Kate asked and a chuckle escaped her throat.

"I better get going, I need to sort some stuff out"

"Are you sure you can drive?"

"I'm sure, Lanie", Kate said and smiled at her best friend. Unwillingly Lanie let her go.

Kate opened the door to their loft and was greeted by silence. She took off her coat and peaked into the study. Castle was sitting on his desk, typing furiously into his computer. At least that got him to write. She leaned against the door and watched him. He seemed exhausted and his face was marked by tears. Eventually he got up and walked straight past her and up the stairs.

"Wow", Kate mumbled and shook her head. Was he going to treat her like she didn't exist now?

Without a second thought, she headed for their bedroom and changed into pyjamas. Falling asleep took forever. The bed was cold and too huge without his body by her side. It didn't feel right. She got up and grabbed her cosy blanket and walked out of the bedroom. She went to the study first, no sign of him. Then she headed for the living-room, no Castle either. After scratching her head, she went upstairs, looking into Martha's room. No sign of him. She then went for Alexis' old room and there he was. Laying in his daughter's bed. Kate tip toed towards him and sneaked under the blanket. Wrapping her arms around his chest and kissed his chin. Castle relaxed immediately and stopped tossing around. Snoring loudly. Being in his arms felt right, despite what he had done. She could forgive him. She would. She loved him deeply after all. Now falling asleep, worked within seconds. The next morning Kate looked forward to waking up in his arms but was greeted by a cold bed. She groaned and got up. He was in the kitchen, preparing a meal for himself.

"Morning", Kate smiled but was greeted by a cold faced Castle.

- Oh, okay. Wont bother him then, she thought to herself. Kate grabbed her usual cup and made herself a coffee. After taking a shower, she changed into appropriate clothes and headed towards the precinct. Sort of expecting Rick to tag along with her but he ignored her offer.

"Where is the dickhead?", Espo asked as Kate sat down.

"His name is Rick and he declined my offer to come with me", Kate shrugged and turned towards her paperwork.

She had to win his heart over again. Maybe if she showed up at one of his book signings for his new book later? Kate grinned to herself and started working quickly.

"I'm going to spend my lunch break outside, do you guys want anything?"

The boys shook their head and Kate skipped towards the elevator. She was way too excited. Kate grabbed a book and got in line. Her heart was beating fast. When she reached her husband, he seemed absent. Not really noticing that it was her. Just doing his formal work. Kate's heart sank. She touched his cheek softly and he looked up but Kate left quickly, barely giving him a second to register what was going on. After sitting down in her car, she looked at the signature.

"For my biggest fan.

Love, Richard Castle"

Not really what she wanted to go for and probably his standard signature. Another sigh escaped her lips. She remembered the signing she went to after the shooting. He was willing to listen to her and followed her to the swing-set. The very swing-set he proposed on. Kate got out of the car and sat down on his swing, burying her head into her hands. Without another warning, a few raindrops fell onto of her head and eventually she ended up soaking, unable to move. Glued to the seat, tears streaming down her face. She didn't want to lose him. She couldn't. Kate got up and walked back to her car, drenching the seat.

With a squeak she opened the door and let herself into the loft. It was dark. She listened. No typing in the study, he must be asleep then. Kate walked towards the bedroom but it was empty again. She took off her shirt and jeans and dried herself with a towel while checking her phone. 5 missed calls. 2 from Ryan and Esposito each and one from the Captain. "Crap", she mumbled and decided to explain it to her boss tomorrow. She tip toed upstairs and into Alexis' old bedroom again, where Castle was laying on the bed. Kate walked up to the bed and got under the covers.

"Kate?", he mumbled sleepily and wrapped his arms around her.

"Yeah", she replied and peeked his stubble.

"Sleep", Kate whispered and felt him nodding against her hair before kissing it softly.


	2. Chapter 2

"Castle?", Kate whispered but once again, the bed was empty.

"Richard?", she called out angrily and stormed down the stairs.

"Richard Alexander Rodgers Castle", Kate yelled and made him drop his coffee jump.

"Oh god Kate, you scared me", he said and got down to pick up the broke pieces.

"Don't you dare to touch that broken cup right now. I demand answers", she yelled.

"Answers what for?"

"Are you kidding me? I walked in on you. Making out with another woman. IN OUR BED!"

His eyes widened.

"Shit, you saw?"

Kate slammed her fist on the table.

"Hell yes I saw. Why Castle? Why did you cheat on me? I thought you loved me? I thought always was ours? How could you do this?"

"How could you break my heart like this?", Kate whispered.

"I don't know. I don't know"

"You don't know?"

"I think, I love her "

Kate's mind picked up the words love and her. He loved her? The woman he cheated with?

"You what?", Kate repeated.

"I said, I think I love her"

Kate turned around, her mask slowly slipping. She grabbed her keys and walked straight out of the loft, slamming the door shut. She kicked the trash cans that were blocking the street in front of her and slipped. Heavy rain was pouring down which made it difficult to walk in heels. Did he really just say he loved her? When he was supposed to love her? When he was supposed to love her forever? A scream escaped her lungs. They didn't another round of trust issues, did they?

She kicked and hit the wall she was standing in front of. Completely letting go of the frustration she was holding onto.

"You fucking bastard", she screamed and kicked the wall once more before sliding down against it.

"You fucking bastard", she cried and buried her face into her hands.

"You fucking bastard", she repeated once more before getting up.

Anger was welling up inside her. Kate wasn't paying attention to where she was heading when she found herself back in the loft. Slamming her fist against his study door repeatedly. He opened up, surprised. She threw herself onto him and kissed him roughly.

"You bastard", she mumbled between kisses.

"I hate you", she whispered angrily and slammed her lips into his once more.

"I hate you so much. Never do this to me again", she growled and felt more tears stream down her face.

The next morning Kate woke up with a throbbing head. The bed next to her was cold again. Was he playing games with her now? She knew exactly that she went back to the loft and had kissed him, growled at him and what followed after that. That they made love. Although it felt a little too firm and there were no I love you shared. Just rough, angry sex. Which now felt terribly wrong. It wasn't Kate's style. It wasn't the way Kate ticked. But she had been desperate. Desperate for his touch, lips and love.


	3. Chapter 3

please don't hate me

* * *

><p>The next morning Kate woke up with a throbbing head. The bed next to her was cold again. Was he playing games with her now? She knew exactly that she went back to the loft and had kissed him, growled at him and what followed after that. That they made love. Although it felt a little too firm and there were no I love you shared. Just rough, angry sex. Which now felt terribly wrong. It wasn't Kate's style. It wasn't the way Kate ticked. But she had been desperate. Desperate for his touch, lips and love.<p>

She rubbed her eyes and climbed out of the bed.

"Rick?"

"Here", he yelled.

Kate smiled for a second and walked towards the study.

"We need to talk", she said and decided to put all her cards on the table.

"We do", he replied with a sigh.

"Who was that woman?"

"Someone I met a couple of months ago"

"A couple of months ago?", Kate's eyes widened.

"Yeah", he replied and looked down.

"So this has been going on for a couple of months now?"

"Rick? Is that true?", she whispered when given no answer.

He rubbed his face.

"Look, I met her at a signing. We met up a couple of times for coffee and eventually, it just happened"

That shut Kate up.

"And when you said you loved her? Did you talk about that woman?"

Castle shook his head.

"I don't understand"

"I didn't mean her. I meant you. I really did. I love you, Kate"

Kate swallowed.

"If you really loved me, you wouldn't have cheated"

Kate regretted saying those words, as soon as they had left her mouth. Castle got up and walked towards her, kneeling down in front of her.

"You see this?", he asked and held up his hand with the wedding ring.

Kate nodded.

"It's a promise to you. To love you forever. I may not be able to ever apologize for it but I am truly, terribly sorry. Sometimes people do irrational things without really having an explanation for it. Sometimes they even do it out of the blue, with the true meaning being hidden forever. Sometimes people screw up without meaning to. Accidents happen. I am not saying that is okay to cheat because it is not. I know that. What I am trying to say is, if I could rewind time, I would do it in a heart beat. Because I love you, Katherine. I always have and I always will. You are my light, the reason to get up in the morning, the reason to write. I would never exchange you for anybody else. I would never allow myself to. I promised to love you forever by marrying you. By giving you everything that I've got. By being your partner. By fighting crimes together. This might be a mystery right now but I promise you that we will solve it. I promise you Kate, we'll get there, we'll find our way back home"

Kate's eyes welled up with tears.


	4. Author's note

Okay, if you are going to leave negative reviews, grow a set and don't leave them as a guest. Telling me that this story is a waste of time, is a waste of time. Stop trying to bring me down. Grow up and leave your silly comments somewhere else.

thanks!


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